Saturday, January 30, 2010

What I Love.

Jordan is coming back from Toronto in one hour, and I can't wait...I need to write...Funny that I have written in a journal since I was 10, but a blog is now it...and yet everyone can read it? Is that okay? Yes it is, it is real life...

So what do I love...

First, life in China with Jordan hasn't been perfect. Moving in with someone in a foreign country isn't easy of course, not to mention it is our first time ever living together but GOD is good. He got this job of being an international courier, it isn't ideal, but it got him away for the weekend, it is money, it is saving us a ton since we don't have to leave the country every 60 days so he doesn't get deported so yes, IT IS GOOD. When he left on Friday night I was a freaking wreck. And I hate that word. I prayed about it. It turned out to be the best thing ever...He realized we were being stupid about little shit, and I can't wait for him to be home...

Ok, What do I love..For some reason I want to talk about what I love.

1. I love that fact that in China everything in delivered. The Asians go out of their way to make us happy. Today I was out of water. I called my local SCIS (where I work) the man the takes care of the expats and said I was out of water. I had water in 10 minutes.

2. I love the fact God is good.

3. I love the fact that if you live your life right, and (laws of attraction) you think something right good things will come.

4. I love good people.

5. I love Jordan

6. I love that I can call my mom and even though she thinks I am in the wrong she makes me feel better.

7. I love my apartment. Jordan met me after work on Friday to walk home. I had to show him the plighted areas that I go through on my way home. They do not have indoor plumbing. As we were looking, we realized there where open holes, we looked in and it was feces. NOT kidding, the stuff just goes under the ground (well not really) and gets drained in this water. And this water is used for everything. I have seen people boil it in the morning to cook, I have seen people fish.....You don't think about the fact that you can wake up in the morning, turn on the heat, use your bathroom and you don't think how hard people have it. I love that we have it good. When I took this job it was considered a HARD post. A hard post means it is tough to survive. To be honest this is easy. I have a great home, I have a great job, I don't want to know what hard post means...But can you imagine?

8. I love the fact that America gives so much opportunity. China doesn't work on credit. I haven't used a credit card since I have been here. You even pay your gas ahead of time with cash. you don't have the money you don't get it.

9. I love where I came from. My goal now is to stop being envious of my friends back home that have these beautiful homes, husbands that make a lot of money, driving fat cars, I want to stop being envious of that. I don't need all that, money isn't what matters. I just want to be happy. I don't need a big home, I just want a small home with a happy family. I want to take time to be thankful for what I have and to realize that life isn't easy. We will all go through our hard times.

10. Most of all I love GOD. I know many of you don't believe, it might be a higher power, or just believe in laws of attraction, luck or whatever, but no matter what life is short. It is about making the most of what you have, giving back to the people that don't have much.

11. Ok, let me get off my high horse. Doing a marathon on the Great Wall in Beijing in May, anybody is welcome. I MEAN anybody. Come along....It will be a time NOBODY will ever forget.

Friday, January 22, 2010

2 weeks already?

Saturday morning here, 7:30AM, why am I awake. I find it humorous that all week I hate waking up early. I think I say every morning, "I can't wait to sleep in this weekend." Then the weekend comes and my alarm clock that is built into my head has me get up at the SAME damn time I would during the week....over that...I am up now, would love some pancakes or even a nice bowl of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch. Or maybe Fruity Pebbles. I like how I mention my two favorite cereals, even if I never ever bought them back home. I wouldn't buy them since eating 500 calories for breakfast is a waste, I would rather save them for a nice dinner of mozzarella sticks and a chicken sandwich. Can you tell I am hungry? LOL.

On the real side I figured I would write since it has been two weeks of being back home. This past week was beyond wonderful. Jordan and I finally are getting in the groove of living together. Not that it was a hard groove to get, but it was. HA HA. This past week we made the most of it. Went out Wednesday night to meet up with Kelsey, had a fabulous Thai dinner in the French Concession. The French Concession is the part of town that is full of discrete alley ways, unique shops and restaurants, and character. The weather was finally being our friend, it was 65 degrees for two days. It is back to 10 below now. Thursday morning we slept in, then went to the Emerald market. The Emerald is a community across the street from me that has beautiful homes for other westerners like myself. But wealthy ones! lol. On Thursday mornings they have a market for the expats, with products we like. Good wine, meats that are not just thrown on the table after slicing them off a pig, organic fruits, teas, movies, books, magazines, breads, seafood etc....I got Jordan up to go with me so he could bring the stuff back. We jumped in a taxi, I sat in front. The man was so flabbergasted he didn't know what to do. I think it was my perfume, he couldn't really focus on driving. He had to do a u-turn, and barely could do that. He kept looking at me, I thought he was going to faint. He did the turn, didn't make it and had to back up, meanwhile there is on going traffic, he hits a bus...the bus driver was NOT happy... got out, it was a big ordeal so we ended up walking to the market. This is turning into a long story, but my point was how adorable Jordan looked walked back with fresh flowers and shopping bags! I had to get another taxi to work. Good times...I love that man.

Alright, my stomach is eating itself, I must eat.....

Stay happy..

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A new day to a great year ahead...

So, after my weekend of a huge pity party, I am a new person this morning. Why is it sometimes we just need to be allowed to feel weak? Sometimes just to let that guard down and show that we need support at times...and boy, did I ever do THAT! Today is a new day though, I woke up with a nice headache from too much wine (made me feel better though) and headed for a new start... My body is still about 50%, not that the wine didn't set me back a bit, but hydrating today and instead of getting my free Monday latte, I went with the detox juice. LOL.

3 liters of water, one detox juice and some great chow mien from then neighborhood Chinese shop and I am good to go...I am going to open these eyes a bit wider, realize that without a clean mind, body and soul it is tough to get ahead. I truly think I panicked this weekend, I was overwhelmed with everything. Engagement, him moving to China, me being the one that has to support both of us etc... It hit me, boy did it hit me. I do realize that throughout this though that it is going to have its rough times, and through those we have to turn to the man above. After all, this old dog has some changing to do...I can't just go out shopping whenever I want? You mean dropping a grand to fly to Bali first class is bad? HA HA. Oh boy, poor Jordan...

At least I can laugh about it now...Sometimes you just have to put your pants back on, doing some writing, pick your head up off that pillow and face the world. Johnson's don't hide for long....

Until next time, keep you head up. We could be experiencing what the people in Haiti are dealing with. Sad times over there, prayers are with them!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Back to Reality

Oh where do I begin...First, it is Sunday morning here in wonderful sunless China and I am struggling. I never thought coming back to China would be this hard. Why is it? And why when I have my new fiance with me is it even harder? I heard from several teachers before I left to not go home for the holidays, they said it over and over, "The homesickness you will feel when you get back will be like no other." I even recall asking a teacher the day I got back if he went home, his exact response was, "I learned a long time ago to not go home for the holidays." But how do you not go home? That is a tough situation, I still will go home next year, however I will prepare myself for the solid wall that slaps you right in the face when you board the plane and the flight attendant is speaking Chinese before English...

Ok. so with that, yes, I am hurting. Not only do I have the infamous China belly AGAIN, but I am weak, tired, sick and don't want to get out of bed. After calling my mom, dad and brother yesterday morning, I felt better. Something about sobbing on the phone to your mom that makes everything okay! I know what it is...the first few months I was here it was all so new. There was so much to do, stuff to figure out, and the alone time was great since I hadn't had it in so long...Then you go home and see the sun, feel the 75degree weather, (I EVEN LAID BY THE POOL) and you hear English, the familiarities of home...food, laughs, driving, no horns, oh and grocery shopping! I wanted to live at the grocery store. The first week home I went and bought all my favorite goodies, even bought a fresh loaf of french bread! Anyways, as I push myself back into a hole just talking about home, you come back to you new home and realize it isn't the same. Life isn't easy here, but wasn't that the reason I did this? Before I went home I had grown to like the simple life that I was living in China, I liked not being pulled in a million directions by everyone, I liked my financial freedom, I liked how I was respected as a teacher, and much more...now I just have to find that again...

I will be just fine, life is how you make it right? Jordan is asleep right now, poor man was up at 5:30AM to listen to the Card's game on the Internet. He couldn't even watch it! It has been going well with him here, he is such a good man. He goes out of his way to make sure I am fine, as I do for him. We went on a few adventures the first weekend, then this storm hit me and we stayed in all weekend...I will take him out soon though to figure out how life works here. My trip back home was amazing, I can't wait to do it again. Now it is time to get my head together, look forward to the new beginnings in 2010, put the past behind, and create some new memories.

2010 brings about:
Marriage
More travels
Financial Freedom
Working to create a balance (mind & body & soul)
Learning not be to so selfish
Making China our new home (for the time being)
Loving LIFE

Until next time, Stacy