Been a long time

Amazing that I have not written on this blog in years. I didn't think I still had it. So much has changed. I am now a single mom, living back in China. Jacelynn is 2 years old and my absolute pride and joy. Life has changed so much, I am love my job in China and being single again. I wasn't happy for a long time, but was dealing with it because I didn't want Jace to be raised in a broken home. Jordan ended up making the transition easier, by moving on with another woman. That ended it, I made the choice to move him out. He is now living right down the street in China, and still helps out with watching Jace. I currently work at YCIS, a high end international school. It is by far the best job I have ever had. There is something special about working for a school where the teachers are highly motivated, students are motivated and well behaved. the pay is more than enough. I have a lot to change now, need to get myself healthy, save money, and prepare for Jace and my future. Jace just woke up. We had a wonderful day today at my schools food fair. I ate way too much, want to nap but she is awake. Here is a picture of her from today. She loves to put make up on when I am putting my make up on! The other is my class year book page, that I made! Proud of that. Jace is almost 27 months, talks so much, has the best personality ever.

Update

Been a month and a half..time to write! The adjustment from China to the states has been smooth as freshly shaved legs...Honestly I owe GOD a huge thank you for this. When major changes happen in someones life, it can be a struggle if you think it is going to be, or if it is not meant to happen it doesn't go smoothly. When we were still in China and trying to make the decision to move back or not, I prayed about it and let the decision just happen. I figured if I could get my teaching job back at Dysart, and Jordan could get his job back then it was meant to be..After that happened, things just started flowing. Since I had planned on being in China for a few years, I made our apartment a home, spent lots of money decorating it, which worried me when we decided to move...Even that detail was taken care of! Since we have been home, we have both purchased vehicles, started working (Jordan really since I am on summer break) looked at houses and furniture. Next week I go back to work, I am pretty excited and a little nervous since I am teaching a new grade level.

Next on our agenda is to save for 2 months or one, then find a house. Jordan also needs to find a different job, since his job is slowly declining. Honestly, once we are in a house, with two good jobs, fully furnished, and the house decorated I am going to be in HEAVEN. It is going to take a lot of work, but it is work that I enjoy doing.

As for the pregnancy I love being pregnant. I feel great, and still look great..he he...I have put on about 10lbs, and my belly is still pretty small for being 18 weeks. Next Friday the 6th of August we get to find out the sex. We are SUPER excited. I can NOT WAIT to register for my baby shower and have that in October. This next chapter is going to be such a good change.

My thoughts on life right now....coming back from China has brought a new perspective on home for me. First, I must say that I absolutely love Arizona. I love the sunsets, I love seeing the clouds, I love fresh air, I love the monsoons, and I love love love being with my nieces/nephew and Marley. All 4 of those precious beings make me complete. I can be having a emotional day, then see my nieces/nephew and forget everything. There is something about children that makes me appreciate every breathe. Their innocence and love for the little things in life is what makes this world go around. Before I was pregnant, I can honestly say that I would often wonder why people kept having kids and what the joy was. Not that I don't love children, as I am a teacher but I thought they were expensive, a lot of work, and much more...Well, that has CHANGED dramatically. My father is one that still thinks that way, he will often say he thinks people would be better off not having kids. Don't get me wrong, he loves children as well but they are a TON of work etc...I have now been thinking about how awesome it would be to have 3 or 4 children. I highly doubt I will since we can't afford it financially, but I think about the joys of them growing up together. Having two girls and two boys would be so perfect for ME!

GOD has a plan...I am thankful for everything that is going on in my life. I am thankful for the laws of attraction, being able to create my own reality, and for my family. I will continue posting, and put some pictures up of the baby bump!

HOME is where the HEART is.

Here I am, it is 2am on a Friday night, feels like 4:30pm, wide awake on China time. The travels went unbelievably well..almost too well. We arrived at the airport 3 hours ahead, so we could tackle our elephant size luggage when it was overweight. With 4 extra large bags that were all over weight, we allowed our self enough time to move everything around if we had too. And that we did. We decided to shove everything into one bag, and pay the 200 dollars extra. The suitcase decided it didn't want to have that extra 20lbs, and the zipper busted. After laughter, sweat, and two rolls of wrap, we MADE it. The luggage looked as if we were moving back after a year! The flight attendant was nice, proud that we were engaged (didn't know I was pregnant of course) and gave us the emergency row seating. We lounged out for 10plus hours, watched movies, and enjoyed ourselves. While arriving in SF, we exchanged the last of our RMB, then people watched for hours. It is amazing how the eyes love color after being a in a country of human beings that all look alike. Shapes, sizes, clothing, hair was all a fun sight to see. I even treated myself to a nice pedicure. Who ever was the smart person to put a spa in the airport, has all my love. We made it home, arrived by my lovely mother who kissed my belly and hugged us tightly. Around 3pm, I was greeted my Marley, who was so excited to see his mom and dad.

After a 3 hour nap we headed for a nice dinner of PIZZA and wings with the family. I decided to surprise my niece and nephew with the news of the baby, they were so excited. Not as excited as I was to see them. They are growing so fast, I missed them more then anything. Honestly, I truly moved back for them. I miss going to all their events, seeing their smiles, hearing them laugh, and I am hoping I never have to be away from them again. My brothers and I both are very close, we want our children to be raised together, which makes life so fun.

Tonight we had another wonderful dinner of PIZZA/wings with Jordan's family. His mom is beyond ecstatic for the baby. She has been very supportive, and the bond that her and I are creating is one that I always dreamed of. Jordan lost his dad at a young age, and his mother has been there for him every step of the way. He has her sense of humor, and most definitely learned his respect for women because of her. I love HER. Not to mention she took such good care of Marley while we were gone. I appreciate all she did.

Reality is slowing setting in...After my night of sleep on my marshmallow bed last night, I am going to being getting ready for my next journey of being a mom. I have to mention the bed, since we slept on a bed spring mattress only for 10 months, sleeping on a pillow top mattress was heavenly. I woke up several times thanking god for the bed. I am curious to see how my back holds up, since I have major back issues (knock on wood) and since China my back has been nearly 100%. Wonder how being back to the marshmallow bed will affect it. Hopefully it won't!

I need to start walking daily, eating more greens, make a dr's appt, purchase a vehicle, unpack, and do much more. I am going to keep up this blog, however change it to a pregnancy blog. Please remember to all my readers that whatever is posted in this blog is not meant to be taken serious, and please think of this blog as reading a comic novel of a 30 somethings life. With that said, I had made a comment referring to my family and the wedding, I want to apologize for offending, it wasn't meant to do that.

Life is good. I thank the good man above for my experience in China. I know some people think I have lost it to give up on that, come home and have a baby with how the economy and life is these days. I am not a fan of pessimistic people for one, and for the truth I am completely ready. China was unreal, but having a baby and being with my family comes first. I have traveled, experienced, seen the world for the past 12 years. I want to bring a child into this world that is going to make a difference. I believe I make a difference in the peoples lives I touch. I think that GOD has a plan for all of us, and that life is to precious to think it is hard. It is what you make of it. Our life is like a remote control, we push the buttons. We control the outcome.

I can't wait to read through this blog with my baby when he/she is grown up. We started a journal that is to the baby. It is interesting to write to a child that is not born yet!

Until next time, LOVES.

Almost time to head back!

Life in China is about to be overcome with a brand new adventure. Those of you that know me well, know what that is! While I will most likely be signing off the blogger, since I rarely have time to update it now. I will take some time to blog about my overall experience. It is ended with a sweet taste in my mouth, it is not ending, but more of a "see you in the future." While this experience has taught me more then I have ever learned, I don't feel my overseas teaching/traveling is quite over. I definitely do think that I had to move away to appreciate how good I had it back home. And I am reminded of how that works weekly by the emails I get saying, "You sure you want to come back to this mundane lifestyle?" Those that have never left don't realize how good we have it back home. This adventure of living in China for the past 10 months has been challenging, but rewarding. I will miss the good people I met, the quality educators, the locals that make sure we have what we need, my tuk tuk driver, the shop owners on the corner, the ayi's, and so much more. I am so excited but scared shitless to start out this next adventure as a mother and a wife.

As for the wedding, we still are unsure. Since we are doing this the non-traditional way of baby before marriage (and yes it was planned) we don't know how to make it work just yet. And why you wonder? Well the short version is my brother is out of state all summer and can't come back, I don't really want to have a wedding when I am blown up like a balloon, and then there is the family issues. The haunted black cloud that never will go away due to DIVORCE. he he. Jordan's family is simple, there is only 3 of them. With mine you have the dad/stepmom who pretend to want to take part but really want me to elope. And the mom/stepdad who want the traditional nice wedding with everyone there, meanwhile there is me who really is afraid to get married and thinks that I would rather take everything I am worth and put it on black. Isn't that the same odds? Nah, I am kidding. I just don't want a day spent in a room full of family I rarely talk too. My dad rarely speaks to his family, my mom to hers, and then you put my mom and step together and WHOOO party~! I am kidding. They totally are two civil individuals that don't mind being together. So no offense taken. We are praying about it now, I just want the baby and Jordan and can't wait to be back home~ Marley will be a part of our happy family, and we have kept it a surprise to Ry, Cal, and Zan so they will be super shocked.

So much more to write but must go on my daily walks...Trying to only gain 100lbs this pregnancy and not 200.

Our vacation spot during spring break, Sanya, China
My sixth graders on our field trip, and below our scooter we purchased.
Jordan making dinner for us! He cooks during the week, Love that man.

April 2010 (wrote quickly disregard errors)

Recent Thoughts. Been a while.

Spring break was exactly what I wanted it to be. Not a long flight, English TV (Only two channels), good food, SUN, pool, beach, not crowded, laughs, not much partying, sleep, no computer, no clock but a scale in the room OVER THAT, who needs to worry about weight on a trip, we do that year around. We had a wonderful week, realized it takes me a few days to finally relax. To not think about home or worries. The pool was by far the best, it was right out of our door and they had a volleyball net and basketball hoop. Jordan and I played for hours, free entertainment is always great. I ate and ate and ate, I found out I love grilled chili's and corn. Good stuff. It was nice being with my best friend, laughing for hours, talking, and doing nothing. The TV only had two English channels, Natgeo and Starmovies. You would've been shocked to see how we were glued to that. Not having TV in China makes you miss it, even though at home I rarely was able to watch a show. We had a wonderful time, thanks to the man above for providing us with option to afford a nice week off.

What else...Quick thoughts that have been running through my mind:

My dad was in Mongolia for work these last 15 days. It was honestly a very very hard time for me. For some reason I couldn't sleep knowing he was so close and he couldn't sleep. His conditions were not good, and his health was a little off due to poor conditions. I felt it odd that I was so affected, but it was most likely due to the fact that he was so close. I prayed that he would come and do a surprise visit, but didn't happen. :( Very sad, but I don't make all the efforts to see him in his city when I am home. I miss and love that man so much. Takes a lot of courage to travel like he does.

I love my job. I honestly am questioning if I can ever back to public education in the states. A teacher friend just sent me an email today that she received from the head of the union. It said that the average teacher salary for 08/09 was $50,000, and the salary for 09/10 was $43,000. It makes me literally sick to think what they are doing to education in Arizona. How the hell do they think they are going to keep good quality teachers with continue cuts in pay? I was SO embarrassed a few weeks back when my students here did a project on the states. They had to look at how each state is ranked in education. Arizona was 50. They asked me why, I couldn't answer them. I have my theories but really why? If it wasn't for my family/friends there I would not go back to raise my own children. In fact if Jordan was on board with teaching internationally (he is not) I would raise my kids internationally. I would be honored to be able to send them with these type of students. They are well behaved, studious, intelligent, respectful, know several languages and just do things the right way. They make teaching literally SIMPLE. All I can do is pray for AZ. ...I have so many friends that are educators that just feel helpless. We chose this career to educate the youth of our country, and instead we get NOTHING in return. All it is doing is harming the kids. I think every teacher should go on strike, what would they do then. Jumped down off my soapbox..

Quick notes:

It rains almost daily in Shanghai. I love it.

Weather is finally changing.

I ride a boxed in cart on a bike with a driver every day to work, cost me 10rmb. 1.10$ in USA money. I don't have to take the tuk tuk, I could taxi it but the driver sits out front of my apt and works at least 10 hours each day. I feel that I am helping him out. I sometimes slip him extra cash, makes me feel good.

Last night we got our groceries, stood on the curb and could not find a taxi for the life of us. A random guy with a van (illegal taxi) stopped to give us a ride. I wasn't afraid one bit, jumped right in. He wouldn't stop for 20 minutes trying to get more money. I said NO. He dropped it, it was a nice ride. This is why I love living abroad. Everything isn't simple. I like the adventure.

I am getting totally over facebook. I am over when people put stuff about "Going to work out" or "My dog pooped." lol. Who cares about their daily tasks. I know that might offend but whatever. I wouldn't participate in facebook but helps with my boredom and keeping in touch. Also, why does one person use the word "besties" then it seems everyone does. UGH. Annoying. Just my thoughts....

I have learned that I hate, absolutely hate how alcohol makes me feel the next day. My mind automatically does a scale when I first wake up. "How bad is it, oh wow, that wine really pulled those veins out of my forehead." But I thank GOD for giving me hangovers...

I think children are the best, the absolute kindness to the world but I am afraid of having my own. I will though someday.

I want to give all the praise in the world to couples that make it work in marriage.

Also couples who:

talk to each other with respect

couples that are proactive about making it work

who think staying healthy and eating right is important for not only them but their children as well

stay together and plan on staying together, don't even think divorce is ever an option

attend church, have their children attend youth groups.

attend couples retreats

have family dinner at the table without the tv

limit their kids time with technology ALL TECH

encourage playing sports

save money for their children's education

do family exercise in the evenings, go on walks etc

teach their children how to be individuals

teach their children that education is extremely important

never stop learning about life

go to the dentist and take their kids, oh and get their KIDS BRACES LOL LOL had to put that

I love this blog, I can write whatever I WANT!!! If I offend you I am not sorry, these are my thoughts and my thoughts only. It is what I really think about life. I am BY FAR not perfect, and always open to other peoples opinions.

My students have their very own MAC laptops, I used to love it but now I think it is a bad idea. I have students that NEVER do anything else. What happened to playing outside with friends?

What else can I babble about today..

I love hot tea

I love hot green tea, cold green tea, and love that it is SO GOOD FOR YOU

I miss having an oven and a barbecue grill so much

I miss having a car, the freedom of having a car, the radio, the lights, driving at night in the rain

I used to love riding in the car at night with my parents

I lately have been very bothered that my parents got divorced

I think kids should be educated in middle school about drugs and addiction and sex (not international kids though, junior year for them they are way behind)

I love to cook

I love to shop

I love to watch movies at home

I love my computer

I would marry it if I could

I miss my dog so much it makes me feel like a bad mother

I am for leaving him

I want to travel the world

I wish I would've came overseas years ago

I am pissed I bought a house and make some poor financial decisions

You must forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes

I love the word and

I love to combine two sentences with the word and

I think I think to much.

My new addiction is a healthy one, it is downloading movies...So nice!

Until next time, exercise, love, pray, eat right, and pray for AZ more !!!! HA HA.