I believe that love:

Love

• Sees the other person’s flaws and still loves them
• Wants to serve the other person; selfless
• Still spends time with others
• Takes time to build the relationship
• Other relationships and friendships grow stronger
• Trust and understanding results in less severe and less frequent jealousy
• Encompasses a long-term commitment
• Survives and sometimes is strengthened because of distance
• Fights are less serious and less often
• Disagreements can strengthen the relationship

True Love

It is Saturday night, November 28th. Feel like writing about my recent thoughts on love...

True Love: I have to admit, at 31 I finally know what true love is. I will admit I threw that word around in the past way to easily. I wanted real love for years, I used to pray every time I would go through the tunnel on the I-10 to find a man, I would pray at night for God to give me a man that would be my best friend, love me forever. I used to date all the time, I was never even really single until I was 27. I tried everything internet, friends, parents hooking me up, and every man I ever dated I had doubts about. There was always something wrong. I used to think it was okay that they didn't show they loved me, or it was okay that we couldn't talk on the phone, or it was okay that I never invited them to hang out with my friends. I once dated a man that for an entire year never paid me one compliment. I used to think this was okay. I would justify men's behavior if they had money, or if they bought me dinner, or more...

Then I kissed Jordan for the first time on my 30th birthday. Jordan being 2o at the time, and Joel's best friend I was pissed at myself. But I felt something when our lips touched. After that kiss our lives went in separate paths. A few months later we reunited, just to hang out as friends. In the past years Jordan would tell Joel he would marry me someday, he would tell me when he would see me that I would someday be with him and have his baby, I would always laugh it off and think, "What a kid." We talked last summer, he would come over to hang out for a few hours then go home. I would always be sad when he would leave, wish inside that he would come back. He never would. I never told anyone that we talked last summer, I was to embarrassed because of his age. I was worried that people would think I was using him, or think I couldn't find anybody my own age.

In August he left to back to school. In my mind I was happy, since I really liked him. After he left we would talk on the phone daily. He would tell me he missed me, he never missed a day texting me saying good morning, or goodnight. After a month or so of this I was seeing someone else and sent him a text saying we didn't need to talk everyday. He was devastated and we stopped talking. I was okay with this as I was dating a firefighter that really could care less about me, but he was good company. In December Jordan came back home for the holiday. One night I was sound asleep at 4am and Jordan walked in my bedroom. He had his Afro then and scared the life out of me. I woke up to him standing over me. I ended up getting up, after my heart rate slowed and chatted with him. He said he just had to see me, and left after 10 minutes. Joel was outside livid. He was so upset that Jordan found a key under my mat (meant to be)! On December 12th, our now anniversary Joel had a graduation party. I remember Jordan walking into the party and my heart stopped. He looked so GOOD. His hair was cut, he had a new outfit on, and I was in AWE. His mom spent a good 10 minutes telling me that night how much Jordan loved me, I was tickled. Later that night, we ended up kissing, and it was over!!!!!!! After that night we started spending days together. Never intimate, just getting to know each other. I couldn't get enough of him. I invited him up to the cabin for the weekend, that is when I feel in love. He never tried to sleep with me, we just spent hours and hours talking and laughing. That is what true love is. When you can't get enough of someone, you don't have moments where you are searching for something to say, which I never have felt before.

Every man I have ever been with something has been missing. I always put a mans career first, what they had, how they would be able to care for me, and that is not what love is about. Jordan and I continued to date, and on February 14th I flew to San Fransisco for a job fair. I have always wanted to teach overseas, I wasn't going to let love hold me back. I took the job in China, not even thinking about leaving this new man that I adored.

I left for China of July 31st, 2009. Jordan, hesitantly took me to the airport. We didn't talk about our future, what was going to become of it, I just left. In my heart I didn't know what was going to happen. If I would leave and we slowly just faded, or if we would still talk. Now, I come home in 21 days and we have never been closer. We spend hours and hours on Skype. Last night was Friday night, we talked for over 4 hours. We laugh, tell stories. He even loves telling me a goodnight story before bed. This is true love. Jordan is one man that makes me want to be a better person. He is 10 years younger, which at first scared me, but now it is the best part of him. He doesn't have any expectations of how I should be, instead he loves me even during my faults. He looks at life differently then most. He never ever has something to negative to say about anyone or any situation. During my hard times in China when I am have issues adjusting or missing him, he makes me feel better. If I am talking negatively about something, he always makes me feel better about the situation. We rarely fight, if we do we always come out strong and discuss how we could avoid having the same issue again in the future. He has a love for God that continues to astonish me. I would have never thought this in the past. When I am down he prays with me. He actually will say the prayer at my family dinner when he is not even part of it yet.

With all this said, I pray that everyone has the time to find true love in their life. True love is when they love you without make up on, they love you when you are sick, they love you when you are at your worst. True love is when they are your best friend and you do not need anyone else to make you happy. I have finally realized why people do want to get married. For years I have questioned why people get married when the divorce rate is over 50%. Sometimes I stop and just thank GOD for letting me find this at 31. For letting me spend my last 4 years dating the wrong people. I also believe that it is very important that you are happy with yourself in order to have a successful relationship. I am very glad that I have experienced some really bad relationships, it makes me more appreciative of what is it to have a good relationship. I know so many miserable married people, it makes me sad:(

I made a promise to myself, God and Jordan that I will never stop loving him. I will always treat him with respect, never belittle, and never be a women that tries to control their man. I can't stand it when a man or a women treats their loved one with disrespect, or says negative things to them. I am a child of divorce and I realize how hard divorce is on children. I honestly know that is why I have had trouble letting a man in to get to know the real me. I really think that is why in the past I used to say I only like the 'honeymoon phase' of relationships. I have had a fear of what happens when a man stops loving you, all because my parents divorced at 12 and it was adjust to having divorced parents.

I am SO thankful that I had the privilege of finding Jordan. I love it even more that my brothers love him. He is going to make a great new part of our family! He continues to amaze me daily with how he thinks and how he lives his life. We are going to make a great couple and have a wonderful family someday.

I have heard for years that when you he is the one you will just know, it is true. To all my friends out there that are still searching, stop. You will find it one day, and you will just KNOW. True love is something to fight for, to never ever give up on. Don't rush it, don't try and make it happen, don't ever have someone in your life that doesn't make you feel special ever single day you are with them.

As you can tell I am crazy about him... I miss him so much it hurts. Spending 4 months and 19 days away from the person you love isn't easy, but we made it, not only made it but are stronger then ever. Only 21 days left!!! I know God had this all planned. With me leaving I have had time to get to know myself in ways I have never thought. I can't wait to have him with me on this journey.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
—I Corinthians 13:4-8a

Just don't get it.

Just got back from the grocery store, and am a bit saddened..I recently ordered milk from the grocery store, they delivered it. It was my first time drinking milk since I got here, and to my surprise it was GOOD. It showed up nice, cold, just like back home. I never trusted drinking the milk before, the milk is kept out here, didn't feel like having a two week dose of the runs. When I found the western grocery story and they delivered, I thought I would be fine. And I was, don't get me wrong. Well today I went to the grocery store, looked in the western section (The very small part of the store with products in English) and saw my MILK. So, that skim milk isn't refrigerated either. How come back home it is is essential we keep our milk cold, however here they don't do that? I just can't drink milk that as we know doesn't contain preservative's and has live enzymes, but yet can have a shelf life? I must do some research.

Ok, that is my question. It is Sunday afternoon here. Watching that movie Paranormal Activity. I don't usually do scary movies, but this is a good one. I don't necessarily believe it, just out of movies and it is 10 below outside, might as well watch one! I am now also doing my own cleaning as well as laundry. I still have two maids, feel bad firing them since they are the sweetest. I just miss doing thing myself, not truly the act of doing them, the feeling you get when they are complete. I also like the sound of the dryer and the smell of the dryer sheets.

Loves!

"Good friends are like the stars
you don't always see them,
but you always know they are there"
unknown

COLD, can you tell? I have never even owned a scarf..now look at me. And this isn't anything yet, I hear:(

Day in the Life of China

I have some free time, it is so cold outside I can't do anything else! We are going on day 4 of rain, temp in the 40's and no sun..I thought I wanted winter to come, now that it is here all I want is sunlight, is that to much to ask for? It should be interesting, I asked for change right?

I am going to describe a typical day in China for me:

6:00 alarm goes off, roll over to flip on the computer and read my emails. Email Jordan to tell him I am awake, and read his email. I look forward to waking up each morning to an email from him, read it then crawl out of bed. Spend the next 45 minutes showering, getting ready and talking with him on Skype.

7:00 Make a quick breakfast, usually two eggs, sometimes oatmeal, sometimes coffee. The last 8 days I have had breakfast everyday, that is my new goal. Doing well so far I must say. Also, gives me time to sit down and Facebook, my healthy addiction.

7:15 Out the door. This is after my usual packing, laptop, power cord, lunch, book, 10rmb for taxi, and at least an apple since the day is long, Without preparing ahead of time you end up grabbing a snack from the vending machine which goes right to my you know what~!

7:15 On the way to school. Usually I am sitting in a cart, we call it a Tuk Tuk. It is similar to a bike with a large square box with a seat on the back. The ride to school is filled with horns, stares, Chinese swear words, a few times of almost getting hit, then arrival. I also get to take a side street through a more poverty stricken street, the locals are outside brushing their teeth, doing laundry in a bucket, walking to an outside bathroom facility, or even grabbing the days feast from a pond that smells like sewage. Really makes me appreciate where I come from.

7:25 Greeted at the front door by the guards, pay my driver a lovely $1.00 and head in. Quick temp check, (Every one that enters the school must get it done) this avoids one sick person spreading it to the rest, then towards my room.

7:30 Skype with Jordan, check emails, write on my board, say goodbye to Jordan and greet children. If I am every having a rough morning this is where I always forgot about it. Each day the kids walk in excited, ready to learn. All except one or two of the boys that are still asleep.

8:00 Students are doing bell work, today it was, "If I could have anything in the world for my birthday it would be?" They work for 10 minutes and I take attendance, check emails, tell Jordan I love him:)

8:10 Teaching time. I teach 5 classes and have two 50 minute classes off to plan, and a 35 minute lunch. I teach two history classes and two language arts, one TEP class, which is Transitional English Program.

11:45 Lunch time, grab my chicken and peppers from the fridge (that seems to be my maids favorite dish but I am not complaining) or a salad, and talk on Skype with Jordan.

12:20 Teaching continues

1:15 Prep time, this is the time that I say goodnight to Jordan and actually work. I do anything from grade papers to write exams, or today I was writing an article for our school newspaper, Dragon News.

3:00 School is out.

3:05 Tutoring begins. I usually wouldn't tutor but this student needs some extra help. I adore this boy as well, he is from Hong Kong, and quite the character.

5:00 Tutoring is over, pack up all my stuff, say goodbye to any teachers working late and jump on the bus. Say hello to a few kids, even though they see me often on the bus they still get excited. Have some small talk about the day.

5:30 Home. First thing I do is set my stuff down and change. Nothing better then getting into comfy clothes.

5:45 Get on Facebook, relax for a while..

6:00 Throw a beanie on an some shoes and head out to dinner. Tonight is Heifu family dinner night. Since we all live in apartments that are next to each other people rotate on who does the cooking. Tonight is Thai food at the Wetzels. This family is from Seattle, they have two young daughters.

7:50 Run across the gardens back home to talk with Jordan.

8:00 Talk with Jordan on Skype for an hour and a half, say our good nights, he is going to work I am going to bed.

9:40 Quick shower, read the latest Jodi Picoult novel or journal about my day.

10:00 Bedtime. Try to get some shuteye for another long day!

That is the typical life of me here..Time is flying by, it is almost time for me to go home. 5 more weeks, then Jordan will be moving back here. I can't wait to start my life here with him. He is excited as well. I would give you a day on the weekends, but they are a little crazy:)

Night all.

November 1st, 2009

Just laying here, enjoying some sauteed mushrooms and watching the movie, "Four Christmases." It is Sunday here, and a relaxing one. I can honestly say that after 3 months I am able to make it through the weekend without being homesick! I am fine during the week, since we are busy, but the weekends you have down time, sometimes the emotions from missing loved ones can hurt. I am getting stronger, I think it has to due with the fact that I will be home in 1 months and 19 days. Jordan will be moving back with me on January 6th, I don't think I have ever been this excited. I hope I get to see everyone when I get back, most likely we will have another big going away bash for Jordan, I can see most of you at that. Look at me, talking like it is tomorrow.

I posted a few pictures from Halloween, that was last night. I didn't enjoy it much, but I did like dressing up. Days of going out to the bars are getting old, just ready for the next chapter here. Not much else going on besides volleyball being over. Our last game was a game I would like to forget. I had two girls out, they were our main players. The girls acted as if they were playing badminton, and I am not kidding. A large part of me thinks that I will hang up my coaching shirt while I am here. Volleyball is my passion, sports in the international scene are more like intramural sports back home. Since we are required to do at least one ASA (After school activity) maybe I will try and do student council. Or possibly just hang out with my man! But I need a job..I won't be bored now that volleyball is over, I picked up a tutoring gig after school. The parent is paying very well, almost 50USD per hour. I am working with him 4 hours a week, starting Tuesday. Decent money and the kids is unique, quite fun to work with.

Until next time, take care.

Want a chicken? More halloween pics and some of the houses my kids live in..

Temp checks, a must whenever we enter school. Halloween (Mormon Missionary) and my NEW DRYER!!!!!!!!!! I know it is SMALL but it works! Maybe only fit one pair of pants at a time..