Back to Reality

Oh where do I begin...First, it is Sunday morning here in wonderful sunless China and I am struggling. I never thought coming back to China would be this hard. Why is it? And why when I have my new fiance with me is it even harder? I heard from several teachers before I left to not go home for the holidays, they said it over and over, "The homesickness you will feel when you get back will be like no other." I even recall asking a teacher the day I got back if he went home, his exact response was, "I learned a long time ago to not go home for the holidays." But how do you not go home? That is a tough situation, I still will go home next year, however I will prepare myself for the solid wall that slaps you right in the face when you board the plane and the flight attendant is speaking Chinese before English...

Ok. so with that, yes, I am hurting. Not only do I have the infamous China belly AGAIN, but I am weak, tired, sick and don't want to get out of bed. After calling my mom, dad and brother yesterday morning, I felt better. Something about sobbing on the phone to your mom that makes everything okay! I know what it is...the first few months I was here it was all so new. There was so much to do, stuff to figure out, and the alone time was great since I hadn't had it in so long...Then you go home and see the sun, feel the 75degree weather, (I EVEN LAID BY THE POOL) and you hear English, the familiarities of home...food, laughs, driving, no horns, oh and grocery shopping! I wanted to live at the grocery store. The first week home I went and bought all my favorite goodies, even bought a fresh loaf of french bread! Anyways, as I push myself back into a hole just talking about home, you come back to you new home and realize it isn't the same. Life isn't easy here, but wasn't that the reason I did this? Before I went home I had grown to like the simple life that I was living in China, I liked not being pulled in a million directions by everyone, I liked my financial freedom, I liked how I was respected as a teacher, and much more...now I just have to find that again...

I will be just fine, life is how you make it right? Jordan is asleep right now, poor man was up at 5:30AM to listen to the Card's game on the Internet. He couldn't even watch it! It has been going well with him here, he is such a good man. He goes out of his way to make sure I am fine, as I do for him. We went on a few adventures the first weekend, then this storm hit me and we stayed in all weekend...I will take him out soon though to figure out how life works here. My trip back home was amazing, I can't wait to do it again. Now it is time to get my head together, look forward to the new beginnings in 2010, put the past behind, and create some new memories.

2010 brings about:

Marriage

More travels

Financial Freedom

Working to create a balance (mind & body & soul)

Learning not be to so selfish

Making China our new home (for the time being)

Loving LIFE

Until next time, Stacy